With pubs, restaurants, gyms and retailers voluntarily closing down in the middle of their traditionally most lucrative holiday period, it seems the Prime Minister’s new ‘personal responsibility’ angle is working wonders.

This comes as the elimination finally begins to crumble in the previously Covid-zero states of Queensland and South Australia.

As omicron ravages workplaces and households right throughout the Christmas period, the Prime Minister has once again gone missing in action, as he tends to do when a national disaster gets in the way of his precious holidays.

The last thing Scotty From Marketing told the nation was that he doesn’t want another lockdown, and would prefer if Australians could take some ‘personal responsibility’ when it comes to this virus that indiscriminately infects frontline workers and hospitality staff – regardless of how many jabs they’ve had, or how many masks they wear.

However, with Australians still required to isolate for 14 days if they test positive, or come into contact with someone who has tested positive, the idea of ‘personal responsibility’ is starting to look a lot more like a personal burden.

Especially considering the amount of businesses that cannot afford to pay staff to go home sick, let alone generate any income without them.

Using the help of several former political staffers who have retired to the Betoota region for the tree change, The Betoota Advocate has today been able to decipher what our Prime Minister really means when he says ‘personality responsibility’.

When Scotty says “to deal with this challenge, we have to do it with each of us taking our own personal responsibility” – he actually means “I have accidentally spent billions of dollars paying JobKeeper payments to Gerry Harvey, and that means that I can’t provide anymore payments for anyone to stay at home”

His comments that “None of us want to go back to lockdowns in the southern states … and the way we avoid that is by ensuring that people practise responsible behaviours, because, you know, COVID is not going anywhere any time soon” – have also been translated to “Keep going to work until you get sick, or come in contact with someone who has been sick, and then go home for 14 days unpaid sick leave, forget the bills that are piling up, your job will be waiting for you when you get back, unless everyone gets sick. In which case, find another job, but yeah, I’m not offering any help. I’m trying to get out of your lives. I want you to enjoy freedoms. Governments should not be so controlling. So, except for when the government demands you stay home for 14 days to live off canned food and 2 minute noodles. Keep going to work.”


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