Oppressed Middle Class White Man Now Free From Shackles Of Persecution After Voting No

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A downtrodden and exploited member of the nation’s oppressed white middle class has today raised a proverbial fist salute in defiance of the elitist tyrants that live to dehumanise him and ridicule his place in Australian society.

Eric Bernabbott (62) was originally not going to play any part in the current Australian same-sex marriage postal vote, due to a lack of interest in gay people or politics – however, after months of campaigning and lobbying from Christian groups and conservative politicians, Eric says he agrees that this whole government survey will lead to much more than the specific change to the marriage act that the entire thing has been about from the start.

“Who knows what it’ll lead to” says Mr Bernabbott, who hasn’t spoken to his own son in ten years after a heated argument over his own father’s inheritance.

“And I’m sick of being told what to do by these lefties and culturally elite”

Eric says in a last minute decision he posted off his non-compulsory postal response on the final hours of the survey. He voted no.

“I wasn’t too interested until I realised that this is going to be the only way to stop ourselves, well, people like me from being pushed around by the PC brigade” he says

“Political correctness has been oppressing me for years. It all started with that dress up party when I went as Muhammad Ali. You should have heard them banging on – it was like I’d just vilified an entire race of people”

“My kids weren’t even allowed to play with gollywogs when they were kids”

Mr Bernabbott, who has run an outdoor fishing and camping retail business since the 1960s and owns two investment properties the recently gentrified suburb his kids live in, says the scourge of political correctness is getting worse and all he wants to do is make academics and civil rights advocates know that they don’t mean shit.

“Tony Abbott is right about how I feel. I’m sick of experts”

He says he didn’t realise how bad political correctness was until the organisations currently facing a royal commission into several centuries of child sex crimes told him that he was being told how to think by the gay oppressors.

“What’s next, gay people get the right to divorce as well?”

“This has all gone too far”