CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
There’s a peculiar vibe at the bar of one of the most popular Woolworths-owned craft brewery in Betoota’s corporate Old City District this afternoon.
The mood is still as high as it would be on every Friday arvo work drinks, but for the first time since the Marriage Equality plebiscite – it seems our towns most apathetic media agency coke feigns are talking politics.
And even more surprisingly for late August, the boys aren’t even talk about their income tax loopholes.
They are talking about the underwhelming performance of our Prime Minister, a man that once symbolised the soaring heights that overpaid marketing bureaucrats like them could ever hope to achieve after lifetime behind a laptop in an air-conditioned office.
It seems this week’s newest batch of focus-grouped political spin may have been too much for even them.
The ‘cavemen’ and ‘another day of hope’ rhetoric appears to have left the lads feeling ashamed to call themselves sleazy marketing guys.
“Bro. Haha. What’s all this shit about The Croods… Such shit chat” says one local MeToo machine, Granton Skyrocket (34).
“A kids movie from 8 years ago??? Bro. Where’s he pulling the shit from”
Granton’s ‘partner-in-crime’ Dale Dixe (28) agrees.
“Bro. That’s not the worst of it. All he said about Afghanistan was “we wish it could be different”. What the fuck was that?”
“Way to manage expectations bro”
A third coke feign, Bradleigh Boochie (31) says his unpaid intern would’ve been able to do a better job of messaging the jab roll-out.
“Bro. Why the fuck did he even talk about who made what jab? I get it… He’s trying to score points by geeing up the pharma company he decided to go with… But that doesn’t mean shit if they jabs don’t arrive”
“Bro. Who did he even work for again? What agency. He’s on some commercial radio tip. The bloke wouldn’t know how to disrupt or activate shit if his new hair plugs depended on it”
“Also, why the fuck is he nailing his flag to Hillsong? Not good optics, bro”
The Betoota Advocate spoke to the bartender who was listening in to these mensa club meeting earlier.
“Yeah. I think he’s lost the marketing boys” says the local hospo professional, Teddy Radley.
“When there’s a group of guys wearing thin matte black ties and suede Hush Puppies talking shit about the Prime Minister, you know he’s in trouble”
“One of them even said he might have to vote for the greens. He reckons at least he’ll get a root out of it”
“You see what I have to put up with in here?”
“And even these pigs are distancing themselves from Scotty From Marketing”