Local Jet Ski Owner Agrees With Everything In The Budget Except Tobacco Tax

| Editor | CONTACT

BUDGET 2017

With all this talk of tax thresholds, financial and fiscal affairs, foreign affairs and economic aid, general research, and superannuation – local man, Beau Haydon says he can’t believe the price of smokes are going up again.

“It’s rubbish mate, they are emptying our wallets and then they’ll be cheering when we drop dead,” says the 35-year-old smoke detector installer and tester.

“Imagine paying 40 bucks for a packet of smokes. That’s fucked,”

The Turnbull Government is not expecting to balance the budget until 2020-21, which is beyond the timeframe that can be accurately predicted by Treasury.

“If estimates and parameters change, we’re hostage to those events,” Federal Treasurer Scott Morrison told ABC 730, seeking to defend the Government’s record, adding “there have been many challenges in this economy, but one thing is for sure… No one gives a shit about the feelings of people who habitually smoke cigarettes. They’re pretty much modern day lepers.”

Apart from a few pre-announced savings, including the lucrative hike in tobacco taxes, and a ‘Google tax’ crackdown on multinationals, the budget appears to favour upper-middle Australia, while high-income retirees are facing a surprise hit on their earnings.

However, all political and financial jargon aside, Mr Haydon says he’s never been more offended in his “bloody life”.

“Fuck the lot of ’em. Abbott wouldn’t have ever tried to pull this shit,”

“Fuckin worry about the terrorists first before you start rippin’ into me for lighting up a bunger,”