Kevin27 Unable To Contact His Old Comrades After Forgetting The Secret Password Used During ALP Leadership Spills

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Former Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has gone off-grid this week, as he begins organising and recruiting sympathisers to join him in his vengeful plot to bring down US President Donald Trump.

This vendetta follows the humiliating scenes that took place at The White House earlier this week, when Kevin Rudd was humiliated by President Trump in a room full of diplomats and journalists.

As both sides of Australia’s early-2000s Federal Parliament will remember well, making an enemy out of Kevin Rudd is something only a fool would do – and Donald Trump has been on borrowed time since he did just that.

The plot, which has been dubbed ‘Kevin27’ aims to remove Donald Trump from his position as US leader within two years.

The Australian Ambassador to the US has been hard at work placing dominoes this week, starting with his masterful gaslighting of Vice President JD Vance, who Kevin Rudd showered with compliments and sympathies over his treatment within the Trump Administration.

Kevin has also been playing it eerily cool with the media, insisting that all is good, and he holds not grudges whatsoever.

Meanwhile, on the streets, the meticulous recruiting of foot soldiers begins, as Kevin Rudd makes a name for himself in Washington D.C’s underground handball circuit.

Now, with a growing grassroots movement behind him, Kevin27 requires the auxiliary support from some of the old comrades from the homeland.

While ditching his smartphone for a burner and going dark on the traceable cell towers and WIFI networks, the former PM can only use payphones to contact his dormant resistance network in Australia.

However, the delicate stages of the Kevin27 revolution has today met a major hurdle, as Rudd is unable to remember the secret password used by his Labor Party allies during the many Federal leadership spills of the 2000s and 2010s.

“Wait. Is it PINK BATTS!?” shouts Kevin.

“No” says the voice on the other line, ANU Vice-Chancellor and former ALP heavyweight, Bill Shorten.

“What about UTEGATE?” Kevin replies

“I don’t know what you’re talking about sir” says Shorten.

“Oh blow it out your arse Bill you know it’s me. Just put me in touch with Tony Burke. I need to find sanctuary amongst the illegal immigrants!”

Shorten is unable to comply.

“Kevin, it may well be you, but I need to hear the password before I patch you through”

The former PM growls.

“Wait” he says.

“Is it Nine Hundred? Stimulus Payment! Stimulus Package??”

“Warmer” says Shorten.

“PLASMA TV!” shouts Rudd.

“Good to hear from you, comrade” says Shorten.

“What do you need?!”