Instagram Thirst Trap Met With Quick-Fire Responses From Every Idiot Except Intended Target

EFFIE BATEMAN | CULTURE | CONTACT

Practicing her poses as she flips to her favourite ‘Cali girl’ Instagram filter, local woman Hannah Rockford is sure she’s going to finally land her white whale with this one… I.E local hunk and a friend of friend’s boyfriend, Josh Conner.

It’s alleged that the Betoota Heights pharmacist had matched with the mutual friend on Tinder, where it’d naturally progressed to him becoming one of her Instagram followers, and breadcrumbing her with the odd compliment for months with no intention to actually meet up.

Though this failure to launch should have resulted in Hannah realising that it wasn’t going anywhere, a lack of other high-quality options and incessant need for male validation over the rainy months means that Hannah doesn’t plan on giving up any time soon.

Hence the last couple hours she’s taken to shoot a photo, followed by a suitable caption: “I’m doing hot girl shit” – a line form Megan Thee Stallion’s iconic club banger ‘Body’.

Posting her Instagram story at a time she deems most people will be online, Hannah busies herself by pretending she won’t be periodically checking her Instagram for a response.

After leaving a total of ten minutes without looking, Hannah caves in and opens her message folder and quickly scans for his name in the slew of thirsty responses.

Megan Campbell

😍 Girrrrllll

EL ⚡

WOW! I CAN’T!

Ray Wick

🔥🔥🔥🔥

Dean W

Ngl, pretty sure that song was written about you Hannah! 😏

Ryan Wells

🥵 🥵 🥵

Despite clocking up a good 15 compliments in the span of 24 hours, Hannah was reportedly left feeling pretty crushed when it was evident that Josh had viewed the thirst trap and failed to respond.

MORE TO COME.