Incessantly Chalking Pool Cue Between Each Shot Fails To Make Local Man Less Shit At Pool

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A local man who is absolutely abhorrent at playing pool cannot blame it on a lack of chalk, it has been confirmed.

Seb Birmingham (28) is yet to ever admit that he’s actually very shit at playing the popular pub game, and seems to have an excuse every time he shanks it across the table.

Throughout his last two dismal losses this afternoon, Seb has so far blamed the table for being not level, the cramped space between the table and the pub’s wall – as well as the fact that there’s no cues long enough for someone of his height – based off some wild conspiracy about cues needing to be exactly as tall as your chin.

His most recent break, which potted the white ball and nearly sunk the black, has garnered sneers from the old blokes in the betting corner of the pub – who usually don’t pay any attention to the young fellas – unless they are this bad at pool.

“Hold up” says Seb, as he chalks the pool cue for the sixth time this match.

“Actually, this chalk is blue. Why is it blue?”

“The tip of the cue is mostly red. Why would they keep changing it”

At time of press, Seb was seen scowling at people for being loud near the bar, as if to say it was distracting him from his A-game.