Scott Morrison has all but secured the warehouse and fruit markets vote today, by telling Australia’s blue collar workers that he believes children could manage their roles when they get sick.

With a shortage of workers crippling supply chains due to the fact that this virus is out of control and our borders are still preventing underpaid immigrants from entering the country, Scotty From Marketing has concocted a new plan that could have only been put together by him

The Prime Minister’s Office revealed this morning that his Government want to allow children to drive forklifts to help get items onto supermarket shelves more quickly.

This would also ‘kill two birds with one stone’ by taking pressure off the embattled education sector by putting school-aged children to work – like they do in the Saharan salt mines.

“Kids can’t go to school anyway” said the PM.

“Might as well put em in a factory”

As it stands, children are not eligible to get signed off on their forklift licenses, perhaps due to the fact that these vehicles are responsible for 1 in 6 workplace deaths.

The Morrison Government is confident that by lowering the age for forklift certification, the supply chain issues currently plaguing Australian supermarkets will be resolved instantly.

It is not yet known what Morrison plans to do about the fact that opening up the eligibility to this particular ticket would create nearly a four month backlog for Forklift certifiers, but that is a problem for two weeks time.

It is assumed that when it becomes clear he did not prepare for the rush of bookings, he will likely just ask Harvey Norman to start selling the forklift licenses at a price-gouged rate.

The Prime Minister also wants the states to get rid of rules requiring daily rapid antigen tests for workers, except in high-risk industries, or any businesses that he might be visiting on the campaign trial.


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