Gladys Berejiklian Secures Youth Vote After Wheeling Out Prominent Pedophile Apologist

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Embattled NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has today made an effort to combat her growing disproval rating with pretty much anyone who isn’t a baby boomer property investor.

With music festivals being cancelled across the state, a capital city of six million that won’t serve a beer after 10pm, and national landmarks hosting advertisements for horse racing, Berejiklian has had to move quickly to prove to the kids that she’s the right candidate for them.

The antidote to the growing sentiment of reverse-ageism has been delivered in the shape of former Prime Minister John Howard.

Mr Howard took a break from providing character references for convicted child rapists to join Premier Gladys Berejiklian this morning in the battleground western Sydney seat of Penrith ahead of Saturday’s election.

Premier Berejiklian was seen encouraging 79-year-old John Howard to do ‘the floss dance’ and ‘dab’ for the cameras, in an effort to win over youth voters.

“Hahahaha! Go J-How!” said the Premier, while merrily grooving alongside the confused pensioner.

“You got the moves! Uh huh, huh!”

This continued for up to twenty minutes until nearby police intervened and found the distressed former Prime Minister a seat, before asking him if he could remember the contact number of any immediate family members.

“I just want to go home” he told one of the community welfare officers.

“Why did they bring me here”

At time of press, Berejiklian was tweeting live recaps of Married At First Sight, while also buying into the ‘black or gold’ dress debate.