Finance Worker Attempts To Go For A Run Without His Personal Trainer There As A Spotter

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Ambulance staff have been called to Brisbane’s inner-south today, after a stockbroker from J.P Meninga stumbled down the bottom four flights of the Kangaroo Point Cliff stairs.

The prominent Queen Street cowboy was allegedly spotted trying to go for a jog without his $90-per-hour personal trainer there to guide him on his stride.

Angus Winton-Knightingale (33) is reportedly in a stable condition at the Brisbane Mater, where he is being treated for shock and exhaustion by the already overstretched healthcare workers.

While Angus, or Geegee as he is known to his mother, acknowledges that now is not the ideal time to clog the hospitals during the COVID-19 pandemic – he also doesn’t know what people expect.

“When our government makes rash decisions to shut our economy down to protect the weak, then this is what happens” he spits, while pointing to a booboo on his knee.

“I used to train five days a week with my personal trainer, now because of these new laws – Chad [trainer] is terrified of going out in public”

“I’m lucky I didn’t die. It’s dangerous to work out without a spotter. I could have run off the cliffs.

Angus says without his usual routine of spending every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night at the bars in riverside and eating lunch at Walters four times a week, his life is falling apart.

“And now I can’t even exercise because of these stupid social distancing rules!” he shouts, visibly breaking under the pressure of COVID-19.

“You try stockbroking from home!”

“It’s actually quite hard to do sober”