“Everyone In The Bikram Yoga Studio Now!” Yells A Furious Brad Fittler At Blues Recovery

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

The Maroons have snatched game I of the 2019 State of Origin series with a thrilling second half finish in Brisbane.

Two last-game tries by Dane Gagai settled the final score at 18-14.

Queensland went into halftime 8-0 down after two ‘no tries’ from the Bunker and two almost certain tries foiled at the last minute by the vaccum sealed Blues defence.

NSW took the early advantage through a converted penalty, settling for two points, but ultimately crumbled under the pressure of a Maroons home crowd.

Maroons coach Kevin Walters appears to have found success with his new model of State Of Origin witchcraft, putting to bed all the rumours that he was having some sort of a manic episode with his clearly scripted press conferences and language psychology.

However, on the other side of the show-down, Blues coach Freddy Fittler has chosen to double down on his own brand of 2019 sporting pseudoscience.

At the Blues recovery this morning, Fittler did his best to not let his deeply engrained toxic masculinity take over.

“Everyone in the bikram yoga studio now!” yelled Freddy.

“Our chakras are way off!”

A furious Brad Fittler then took off his training tracksuit to reveal his chesty long-sleeve u-neck shirt.

“Actually. Stuff that”

“Everyone hold hands. We are going down to Coogee”