CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As South-East Queensland bunkers down and prepare for the ever-changing weather patterns, the Australian Liberal Party is facing a damage control of their own.
After 3 years in Opposition, the Federal Opposition had hoped that they had freed themselves from the stench of Scotty From Marketing.
The new leader, Peter Dutton, had attempted to rebrand the party as right-wing bastion of common sense in the post-pandemic years.
As the new Government worked tirelessly to get on top of inflation and interest rates, the Liberals were able to point the finger and say this it was never going to be easy under Albanese.
With next to no actual policies other than the fact that they hate the idea of letting any more Aboriginal people into Parliament house than is absolutely necessary, Peter Dutton’s path to victory in the 2025 Federal election relied on two thing. Not being Albanese and not being Scott Morrison.
Unfortunately this week, the stench of Scotty has returned to the Liberal Party.
All Peter Dutton had to do was not leave his North Brisbane electorate for the duration of this weather event. He had just had to stay put and appear present while his local constituents were preparing for a tropical cyclone to make landfall. But he couldn’t do it. He simply had to fly to Sydney to mingle with billionaires on a campaign fundraising junket.
This very Scotty-like behaviour has filled in the blanks for voters, many of whom were already skeptical about his ‘working class man’ persona. It seems that this property developer who’s worth $300m might actually just be a detached multimillionaire.
That’s why he needs to be ready for the post-Alfred press shots. The cyclone may have been downgraded to a Tropical Low, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be a clean up. And if he’s spent the last week in Vaucluse, it means that he doesn’t have a dirty shirt.
Overnight, utilising his encyclopaedic knowledge of fine art, Peter Dutton took a faded work-shirt into the study of one of his 30 investment properties and began channeling Margaret Olley.
“This is my best work yet” he laughed.
“These oil based paints really look exactly like Brisbane River mud. I’m going to look like one of the people. They are going to completely forget that I spent the last week with billionaire property barons and Sydney cultural elites”
“Someone call News Corp. Lets organise some press shots!!!”
