CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

After a spate of ICAC inquiries and ABC investigations have revealed concerning levels of Chinese influence over the major parties.

Dodgy links have already established between the Chinese and the NSW Labor Party with the delivery of $100,000 in cash in an Aldi shopping bag at their state branch.

Despite their intermittent dabbling into anti-Asian populism, the Liberal Party is also neck-deep in allowing Chinese foreign agents deep within the ranks of the Federal government.

However, it doesn’t stop there. The Betoota Advocate can today reveal that CPC sleeper cells have also attempted to infiltrate the fringe minor parties. With a distressed Chinese national today revealing to our reporters that he had been forced by Bob Katter to learn Slim Dusty’s entire back catalogue before he was even considered for party membership.

It is not yet known if this North Queensland espionage exercise has resulted in any national intelligence being compromised, given the fact that KAP MPs and staffers only communicate through hand-written letters and landline phone calls.

However, at the other end of the Eastern Seaboard, it appears the Australian Greens have been much easier to infiltrate for the Chinese spy tasked to do so.

Local Mack Horton-vilifier and Melbourne-based Chinese foreign student has managed to climb the ranks of the Australian Greens – already picking herself up pre-selection for the upcoming by-election in the Chisholm electorate in less than one week.

Daria Li (22), says it’s not lost on her that she is being championed by the green-left as some sort of much-needed diversity hire.

“These people are very self-conscious about the fact that their party is mostly made up of white men” says Daria, while shuffling top secret documents in the pouch pocket Anti-Social-Social Club hoodie.

“I told them I had to live with difficult dietary requirements for a bit of fun and now they look at me like I’m their next leader”

However, Daria says the biggest hurdle in her quest to infiltrate the Australian Greens is the non-stop indignity of having white people ask her about her culture, and attempting to speak Mandarin to her.

“Every time I see a man walk in with a heavy coat and see-thru square-frame glasses I expect to hear them trying out their very limited language skills on me the moment they learn my family is Chinese”

Daria says she is also tired of being wheeled out for every photo opp.

“I am expecting to feature on about 70% of their flyers and posters next election” she said.

MORE TO COME.

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