With the passing of Queen Elizabeth II overnight, the outpouring of mournful tributes are soon to be replaced by a landslide of logistics.

Firstly, orchestrating the handover to the new King Charles, known as Operation London Bridge.

Then of course there is the Queen’s funeral – a globally televised event that will rival the 2022 Birmingham Commgames for ratings.

And then of course, the colonies, like Australia, must begin the long and arduous task of replacing Queen Elizabeth’s face with King Charles.

CWA halls around the country are currently sending one of the girls down to the local framers to put together a dapper portrait of the incumbent monarch – as Anglican churches and schools around the country begin to redesign their newsletters and pamphlets.

Although, the most costly exercise will of course be minting a new line of currency.

As per tradition, Australia’s next run of coins and $5 notes are likely to feature the head of King Charles III, repelacing his late mother and predecessor – but they will circulate alongside each other until all currency depicting the Queen filters out through damage and loss.

The RBA’s latest run of polymer notes – called the NGB (Next Generation of Banknotes) program – took 10 years and $37 million to complete, ending with the $100 bill in 2020.

However, it seems with the coins now added to the basket, this entire project will cost in the hundreds of millions.

It is also not lost on the Australian mint that they will also have to expanding the size of the Australian coins to include enough room to include the world famous ears of King Charles.

However, with whispers of an Australian Republic around the corner, the Mint has decided to keep costs low – in case all those new coinage will have to be thrown out in a couple years anyway.

Working with the Treasurer, the Mint have today began drafting ‘wingnut coins’ aimed at keeping the shape of Australia’s coins as close to the Queen Elizabeth models as possible, with two extra surfaces coming off the side – to fit in the new King’s binungs.

The Wingnut Coins will likely enter circulation in early 2023, around the same time Prince Andrew is extradited to the Caribbean and sentenced to life in prison.


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