A vulnerable black kid from the Northern Territory has today experienced the repercussions for his silly actions, after being caught stealing a loaf of white bread and some packaged ham from a major supermarket chain last night.

‘Joeboy’, a 10-year-old Indigenous child raised in a predominantly black community in the remote Top End, was quick to admit his guilt when five police officers found him with the stolen groceries stashed in his footy shorts at 10 pm last night.

Due to rural price gouging in remote Aboriginal majority townships, the two items he stole has amounted to $55 worth of food.

The local media and redneck community groups on Facebook have decided to round this up to ‘close to 100 bucks worth of stolen goods’.

Police will argue that this isn’t the first time Joeboy has been caught stealing from local businesses, but there is also a good chance they’ve carelessly confused him with a couple other local black kids around the same age – and are more interested in making an example out of one of ‘them’.

If Joeboy had the confidence to speak up in front of paramilitary-style white police officers, he would argue that he only stole the bread and ham because he hasn’t eaten in days, likely a result of his family unit breaking down after his single mum was arrested for unpaid parking fines she racked up while visiting a family member in the nearest hospital, which is 400 kilometres away.

In the immediate aftermath of this brazen crime, Joeboy has been sent to a local watchhouse, where due to recurring administrative errors – he could easily end up sharing a cell with a couple of predatory adults for the next couple days.

Due to the fact that Joeboy is not a middle aged privately educated white male politician, it is unlikely that he will be sent to ’empathy training’ counselling – as is the case for public servants who get caught taking photos of waitresses underpants in public.

It is also unlikely that the tax-payer will provide him with a $200,000 salary to sit at home in a waterfront mansion for the rest of the year.

Joeboy’s mental health will also not be taken into consideration, as is the case for Cabinet Ministers accused of raping minors who end up killing themselves as a result of the trauma.

It is expected by the weekend, the pre-teen will have been processed through the court system and sentenced to a couple months in Don Dale Juvenile Correction Centre – an instution that remains operational despite being at the centre of a Royal Commission into its violations of human rights for young offenders, and a FourCorners expose that showed footage of young kids being teargassed in locked cells and beaten while gagged in spit hoods.

In the wake of a recent news beat-up about ‘out of control youth crime’ – the NT Government’s has this week unveiled a new ‘jail not bail’ approach to child offenders. This means Joeboy now has a wrap sheet, and will probably not return to school to finish his education, as he spends the rest of his institutionalised existence in and out of both juvie and the big house.

His sentencing to a life of criminalisation is expected to take 78 hours, and will be processed roughly 4 months and 28 days quicker than the public housing waitlist his mother has been sitting on in an effort to escape the domestic violence situation in their last residence.

Joeboy is unsure if anyone will tell his nan where these men are taking him in this caged van.

It is not likely that anyone will.


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