"Happy Ashes Week, Brother" Becomes Standard Workplace Greeting As First Test Starts Friday

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Local workplaces have entered a period of mild but noticeable disruption this week as blokes begin greeting one another with the seasonal phrase "Happy Ashes Week brother".

The First Test begins Friday in Perth and East Coastanese Australians are preparing for the rare experience of prime time cricket that lines up neatly with responsible schooner consumption.

The greeting has spread through offices and work sites and has replaced more traditional acknowledgements such as "hello" and the quiet nod men use when they do not wish to engage in conversation, but politely acknowledge their existance. Workers across several industries say it now carries the same emotional payload as being told the boss is working from home.

At a logistics firm in Betoota Heights the phrase has become mandatory.

Operations coordinator Trent Van Camp said it was simply the done thing during a week of national significance. He arrived this morning in a heavily starched polo and immediately wished the receptionist a happy Ashes week despite her being Canadian.

Trent confirmed that the entire office will be knocking off at 3pm on Friday to walk down to the Gelded Seahorse Hotel. All staff involved have submitted the appropriate requests to their respective life partners with the entries appearing in shared iCal calendars. Each calendar reminder includes a note explaining the importance of the Perth time zone and the need to secure a table before the after work rush.

Trent said company HR had attempted to discourage the new greeting with a generic reminder about professionalism. This reminder has not been taken seriously by anyone in the building. He said he intended to continue wishing every person on the premises a happy Ashes week including the accountant who supports England.

Pubs across the eastern division of Australia are preparing for larger than usual Friday crowds. The manager of the Gelded Seahorse Hotel Sheree Collins said the venue is expecting a strong turnout from local office workers. She said the beer garden has already been partially reserved by a group who submitted a collective booking labelled Cricket Night and that the kitchen has been warned to expect an early rush on trays of the state dish of Queensland, miniature meat pies, sausage rolls and cocktail franks.

As the Test approaches workplace behaviour experts expect the greeting to become even more common. They believe usage will peak shortly before the toss when a significant portion of the nation briefly forgets every responsibility it has outside cricket.

More to come.