Happily Married Man In Loving Relationship With No Real Issues To Spend Next Few Nights On The Couch

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

A reasonably well adjusted man who enjoys the fruits of a loving relationship will be spending the better part of the next week sleeping in a seperate room to his partner.

Hamish Clowndes (32) from our town's now wholly gentrified Flight Path District, has confirmed to The Advocate that things are all sweet at home.

"Oh nah happy as Larry," laughed Clowndes who genuinely struggled to remember the last time he and his partner had a proper argument about anything other than whether he could get a boat.

"But cricket starts tonight," he laughed.

"And it's not practical for either myself or Brit to slumber through me trying to watch it on my phone in bed with the volume on 1 bar," he laughed.

"So I'll just shack up on the couch and wake myself in a shock with a crook back, fucked neck and caked dribble on my face at some point around 4:30 and then slink off to bed."

"And I'll rinse and repeat for the next few days, pending the rain gods don't fuck with my plans," he laughed.

Hamish's comments come as cricket diehards and more fair weather fans experience salivation of the mouth ahead of one of the most Hollywood series in recent memory.

The return of the Australian cricket team to the spiciest series in living memory.

Australia v South Africa in South Africa.

More to come.