Hand Soap With This Coloured Bottle Can Charge Whatever The Fuck They Want

PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT

The Australian Competition and Consumer (ACCC) has uncovered some explosive news today.

It turns out that soap bottles which can be described as a sort of opaque brownish colour can actually charge literally whatever the fuck they want. 

The consumer watchdog received an outpour of complaints from ordinary Australians who felt they were being ripped off by big soap. 

The Advocate spoke with one complainant who preferred to stay anonymous. 

“I live in a sharehouse so once every six months I have to buy communal hand soap. You would literally be excommunicated from the house if you rocked up with that foaming bullshit or god forbid the palmolive one that looks like cum.”

“You have to get the brown bottle if you want to be taken seriously but I don’t see how someone on a normal wage can afford that kind of stuff, I know these brands usually have some sort of vague ethical connection but still, it’s hard to justify.”

The Advocate also spoke with the ACCC about what actions the watchdog was prepared to take.

“Yeh we’re pretty hamstrung on this one, I mean they’re not breaking the law but they’re definitely taking the piss.” 

“If people are willing to pay $15 for a soap pump that’s on them but we understand their frustrations.”

“We are also looking into the coercive shelf stocking practices that Woolworths may be using, placing these beautiful brown bottles next to this disgusting dettol slop and expecting consumers to make a rational decision.”

More to come.