Gym’s ‘Amazing 12 Week Body Transformation’ Achieved By Ensuring Participants Eat Fuck All

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A performance enhancing gym on the outskirts of Betoota Grove has seen a surge of positive comments on their ‘body transformation’ swipe series, which shows a group of young men and women looking impossibly ripped after just twelve weeks on their program!

Posting the carousel to their Instagram yesterday afternoon, Max Power Performance Gym explained that their specialised program run a series of expert bespoke personal trainers is the key to getting summer body ready – and all for the bargain of just $2800.

“If people want to get a body like me, this is the program for them”, explains Jack Taylor, one of the genetically blessed trainers at the studio, “all it takes is twelve weeks.”

“Participants will get their very own bespoke training program, bespoke diet plan, and bespoke cutting edge progress tracking technology!”

Our reporter enquires more about the bespoke diet plan but Jack just keeps repeating ‘maximum results, MINIMUM TIME’ over and over.

However, The Advocate was able to find one of the participants of the last summer shred program, who had plenty of phrase for the gym.

Though it should be noted that the woman did not, to put it politely, look as ripped as she once did.

“Oh it was great, I’d just had my second kid so I was looking to lose some of that baby fat. I had a six pack by the end of it!”, says Carole Bennett.

“They really pushed you to do your best. I’ve never been that fit in my life, but it was tough.”

“Especially the diet part…800 calories a day was a struggle!”

More to come.