EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
Local woman Melissa Harris has been forced to give her grumpy husband something to do this afternoon, after growing sick of him huffing and harring as he wandered aimlessly around the apartment.
The order comes after Darren spent most of the morning complaining about the soaring temperatures in their ‘shitbox apartment’, which, like many shitbox apartments, has no ceiling fans and poor ventilation.
Melissa says she reached her limit after Darren lets out an exasperated sigh loud enough to be heard from the other end of the unit, signalling that he was clearly looking for someone to solve his problems for him.
She notes that this is the third day in a row he has done the same routine, and that she was no longer interested in listening to him plod around the apartment like a Clydesdale horse.
“What do you want, what’s wrong?”, she’d asked, “are you bored?”
“Hmmm”, murmured Darren as he nodded his head.
“Is it Tom? Do you want to see Tom?”
“Hmmmmm”, Darren pondered for a moment before shaking his head, “nahhh.”
“Hmm, okay…playstation? Do you want to play a video game?”
“Nahhh.”“Hmm..oh I know, it’s cricket isn’t it? You want to watch the cricket!”
“Ooooh yeah!”, he’d clapped with glee.
“Go on then, I’ll pop the fan on. I think there’s some Zooper Doopers in the freezer too.”
Disappearing into their bedroom, Melissa soon emerged with their Shark FlexBreeze HydroGo Misting Portable Fan, which she plonked down in front of the adult toddler.
Upon feeling the cool breeze of the portable fan, Darren’s grumpy mood quickly dissipated as he angled his sweaty face towards the misting spray and let out a contented sigh.
“Do you need me to turn the cricket on, or are you able to manage that,” she laughed.
It can later be confirmed that Darren spent the rest of the afternoon chowing through four orange Zooper Doopers and happily waggling his feet and blurting out random thoughts about Travis Head and the Australian bowling cartel, his spirits saved entirely by his trusty emotional support portable misting fan.
More to come.
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