Grumpy Gym Bro Boyfriend Needs A Sucky On His Little Protein Go-Gurt

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

A local boyfriend has signalled the need for “tummy time” this morning after coming home from the gym a little revved up.

Stomping into the house after shifting tin at the West Betoota Anytime Fitness, Lincoln Elliot (32) appeared a bit man-flustered and in need of a little lie down.

“Awww fuck it was so busy in there, whole place was full of dickheads!” Lincoln whined, as he chucked his car keys in the fruit bowl and tossed his stinky protein shaker in the sink.

“There was this one fuckwit… Hogging the bench press… Camped out there all morning… Just sitting on his phone… Like what the fuck?!”

Flopping himself down onto the couch in a huff to begin scrolling his phone, local girlfriend Amelia Duncan simply stood back with her arms folded, and gave Lincoln the chance to cool his cylinders which were overfiring thanks to a concoction of servo energy drinks and watermelon pre-workout.

Opening the fridge to find a pouch of strawberry flavoured greek yoghurt, Amelia simply tossed the big boy go-gurt to her boyfriend, knowing what he probably needed was 15 grams of some protein and milky solids.

As well as a screen and some quiet time.

“Did you hurt yourself babe, did you try to lift something too heavy?” she asked, whilst watching her boyfriend scratch his nuts and scroll through reels of sports highlights on the couch.

“Nah… Nah, just like… So many idiots in there. And the traffic home was a headache too.”

“Why doesn’t anyone indicate these days, does my head in!”

“Anyway, I might just not do much for a bit…”

The hostile atmosphere caused by Lincoln's calorie deficit was soon disrupted by the sounds of him giggling at something on his phone.

More quiet time to come.