Government's Jobs For Mates Review Shockingly Finds Jobs Are Being Given To Mates

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

In some truly unbelievable news from the nation's capital today, a new report has revealed there is some nepotism going on in Canberra.

Having to be seen to be believed, the allegations come from the 'Jobs for Mates' Review - which reveals that candidates or 'friends' are too often picked for political purposes or past loyalties.

Perhaps more shockingly, the report conducted by former Public Services Commissioner Lynelle Briggs AO claims that the nation's politicians have mates.

"Yeah, it seems like this whole report has been conducted under the assumption there are politicians out there who have mates," laughed Bernard Grattan, a political science professor at South Betoota Polytechnic.

"Which I think we can all agree is rather humorous."

"Don't get me wrong, the allegations of rampant nepotism and jobs for political favours is fucking disgraceful, and a serious indictment on our political system, but referring to these things as friendships is just inaccurate."

"Partnerships, or acquaintances, or symbiotic relationships are probably better terms."

"But let's not let that distract us from the fact the government has sat on this report for two years, and full blown nepotism is happening in OUR public service."

"And I say OUR, because we are the ones who pay for it and should benefit from it."

"Not some inept under-qualified cunt who went to school with someone whose dad used to be a politician and is now in turn a politician."

More to come.