Government Tells Adelaide To Let Them Know When The Algal Bloom Spreads A Bit Further East

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

The people in charge of running the country have today informed the people of South Australia to let them know when their issue effects the important parts of the country.

With the election cycle well and truly in the rear vision, the regions outside of Sydney, Canberra, and Melbourne have once again been informed that the both sides of politics will chat to them again in a couple of years.

Despite boasting former heavyweights like Christopher Pyne and Alexander Downer, the city of Adelaide has met that same fate, with the people in charge of federal parliament telling them to cool their jets a bit.

“Hahaha chill with this algal bloom shit,” laughed a spokesperson for the government today.

“Let us know when it spreads further east.”

This comes following the decimation of marine life off the coast of South Australia as a result of a toxic algal bloom, which experts have been sounding the alarm on for quite some time now.

The devastating event that South Australia is asking be called a natural disaster has seen underwater climates hammered by bloom, with businesses folding left right and centre in the tourism, aquaculture and fishing industries.

While Environment Minister Murray Watt made sure to pop down to Adelaide for a quick little look at some dead fish on the first day of parliament, the bloom has been raging for months down south.

It’s believed the bloom got jumped started last year after a shocking marine heatwave wreaked havoc.

Of course while that marine heatwave is very easily explained by man’s behaviour over the last couple of centuries, it has lead to a raft of conspiracy theories around Chinese warships, Chemtrails and so on.

While it’s likely that little can be done to stop the current bloom, alarm bells are ringing over the event going into hyperdrive when the warmer weather returns.

“Yeah, and it would be great to know we are getting on top of this stuff so it doesn’t happen again,” said one local South Australian this morning.

“But I guess it’s too far west for anyone to give a fuck about in Canberra.”

“Maybe we’ll join the secessionists in the West.”