Government Set To Give Every Child Under 16 A RipStik To Negate Effects Of Social Media Ban

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

As the clock comes closer to striking midnight, the Australian government has today made a stunning revelation about its social media ban.

With the Under 16s ban now exactly one month away, the Prime Minister has confirmed a significant boost for the nation's young people.

The world first move to prevent a horde of brain-rotten kids from accessing all forms of social media, is now set to be coupled with the nation wide roll out of RipStiks.

Made famous during one summer in the mid noughties for some reason, the pseudo-skateboarding devices are set to return in a big way.

In an exclusive interview with The Betoota Advocate, the Australian Prime Minister has confirmed that RipStiks will be handed out to every single child under the age of 16.

The roll out is designed to give the kids something to do, before they inevitably start being healthy teenagers again and drinking in the park and setting things on fire.

The move has been heralded by parents groups around the major cities, but regional spawners have raised serious concerns.

"Yeah it's fine for the city slickers and the townies," said a local Betoota Plains Girl Guides organiser.

"But what about if you live out of town?"

"You go and try rip some stick on a dirt road."

"The idea is great in theory, but they need to modify it so country kids can have unlimited access to something like glove gun materials or fishing rods."

Albanese said his team will consider the recommendations in detail.

More to come.