Government Declares All Of Australia A “School” To Keep Coronavirus Infections Down

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT

In an ingenious move, the federal government has declared all of Australia is now a “School” in response to COVID-19 advice provided by the Chief Medical Officer that school students are unlikely to transmit COVID-19 between themselves or school teachers and staff.

The loophole was detailed in a report issued by the NSW Health’s Centre for Immunisation Research and Surveillance which found that in NSW, from March to mid-April 2020, 9 students and 9 staff from 15 schools were tested positive for COVID-19; whilst carrying the virus these 18 people came into contact with 735 students and 128 staff, which resulted in only 2 possible transmissions of the deadly virus.

“Obviously the best way to take advantage of the reduced infection rates is to make Australia a school, with the entire population now enrolled as students. It’s a classic case of the ‘if the aeroplane’s black box is so strong why don’t they make a really big black box and put wings on it’ theory. I mean, the answer was so obvious; we’d be crazy not to take advantage of this loophole”

Although the results of the new move are not yet known, some early teething issues have already been noted.