Global Financial Outlook So Dire That Scott Pape Buys A Pair Of Shoes

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Shoeless investment guru Scott Pape has reportedly purchased a pair of sensible cross trainers this week as the global financial outlook gets worse and worse and worse.

The location for this monumental moment in armchair investing was the Williams outlet shop in Mildura, in Tropical North Victoria, where Pape was seen struggling across the hot bitumen carpark and into Centro.

Known to millions around the country as The Barefoot Investor, Scott Pape's choice to finally get himself a pair of ASIC Kayanos Black-on-black in size 15 has sent shockwaves through local markets as traders interpret this move as one signally storms on the horizon.

"He even bought socks," said one witness.

"That's not a good sign. He must know something we don't. You know what they say, 'Put on your shoes and socks and let's go,' well Scott's going somewhere and it's definitely not Wheeldon's in Wentworth, that's for sure."

The Advocate reached out to Pape's publisher for comment, who said he was too busy learning how to operate and maintain the L1A1 SLR that he's had buried in a length of poly pipe in the backyard, for this very moment in time.

More to come.