Generous Gun Buyback Has Local Cooker Digging Up His Illegal Firearms And Handing Them In

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A generous new gun buyback scheme will take effect this week, prompting at least one local gent to reassess his long-held beliefs about government tyranny, personal freedom and the wisdom of burying weapons in his backyard.

The federally-funded buyback, announced as part of a broader national firearms reform package, is aimed at reducing the number of guns in circulation by offering compensation for surrendered weapons. Legal or not.

For most Australians, the scheme represents a straightforward public safety measure. For some, it's a draconian measure that punishes law-abiding Australians for doing nothing wrong.

For one Betoota Downs man, it has represented an unexpected opportunity.

After spending years insisting he would "never comply" with gun laws and repeatedly assuring friends that his firearms were "stolen by Arab gangs", the man was spotted over the weekend carefully excavating several suspicious patches of earth behind his rental property.

Speaking to The Advocate while standing knee-deep in a hole near his lemon tree, the man confirmed that while he remained ideologically opposed to the buyback, and other things, the numbers had forced him to reconsider.

"Look, I don’t trust the government," he said. "But I also don’t trust leaving good money in the ground if I’m being honest. You know, I'm not handing in my L1A1 or my Bren gun or my Owen gun. Or the Glocks we stole from those armed guards a few years ago when [name redacted by legal] and I did over that armoured car. But like a few .22s and maybe the old .303."

Neighbours say the man's position softened dramatically once compensation figures were circulated online.

"He went from 'over my dead body' and 'I'm going to poison your dog' to 'do you reckon rust affects valuation' in about 48 hours," said one resident.

By Tuesday afternoon, the gentleman was reportedly loading several wrapped firearms into the boot of his rooted Holden Jackaroo, before driving into town to enquire whether multiple items could be processed in a single visit.

Police sources confirmed the man had asked staff whether there was "a bulk deal" and if he "would get in trouble" for "finding weapons that were stolen from himself".

At press time, the man had returned home and resumed posting online about creeping authoritarianism, while quietly pacing his backyard and wondering where the PVC pipe with his Vickers gun was if I wasn't near the lemon tree like he thought.

More to come.