Fuck It Local Man Bakes The Whole Bag Of Gems

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Fuck you and fuck the world, that's the key takeaway from a local man this afternoon as he decided to bake the whole fucking bag of potato gems for tea.

Betoota Heights remote worker Ben Marks is feeling a bit fragile from Origin last night, his remote boss is being a remote cunt and he's had enough.

Speaking to The Advocate this afternoon through his flyscreen door, the 35-year-old human skip bin says he's ready for today to be over.

"I've had an absolute cunt of a day and I'm jack of it," he said.

"I've got my Masterfoods Smoky BBQ Sauce, full of sugar. The good shit. The type of sauce with a half-star health rating. A hyper-processed food, drowned in a hyper-processed sauce that was probably made before COVID. Suck me off, you leftie dogs."

Marks then performed a variety of vocal stims that lacked any context.

"Do you have anymore questions? Good. Go back to writing propaganda for your personal heroes Albo and Jim, you sad cunt."

More to come.