France Offers UK Lend Of Device That Stops Misconduct In Public Office

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The French Government has made a formal offer to their British counterparts this morning which has caused offense and much consternation among certain sections of Britain.

In a short press conference this morning, President of the Republic Emmanuel Macron said he has spoke to British Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer this morning and in that conversation, made the offer to lend a working example of a guillotine for the express use of executing Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor for treason.

"This one works," he said.

"We know it because it was used to execute 35 bourgeois agitators in Geneva between 1798 and 1821. We have have it packed up and on the Eurostar by tomorrow, if my friend Prime Minister Starmer requests it."

In response, Prime Minister Starmer thanked the French President for his "kind" and "considered" offer and his government would certainly consider it.

While the act of dragging a member of the Royal Family out of bed at night, finding them guilty of a capital offence during some extrajudicial process unrecognised by an international court or local governing body, and then chopping their head off is currently illegal in the United Kingdom, recent polling conducted by YouGov indicates doing this might work in Starmer's favour.

"I'd say that's why the UK Government considering it and not outright turning the French down," said The Advocate's token office pom.

"Chopping Randy Andy's head off and drop kicking it into the Thames might actually save Keir Starmer's political career."

More to come.