For The First Time In History, Blokes Called Dean Are Now Sexy Due To Association With British Songstress

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

In great news for blokes named “Dean”, their name is officially sexy, it can be reported.

This story comes after a report by the Department Of Births, Deaths and Marriage has listed “Dean” in the top trending names of the year, a feat which hasn’t been seen since the name truly peaked back in 1954, right before James Dean died.

Speaking to Professor Chris Martin, a cultural anthropologist from the Royal Betoota University, it’s believed the recent drive in popularity can solely be linked to British songstress Olivia Dean, who’s killing the charts at the moment with her sultry brand of neo-soul.

“There’s no other explanation for it, it’s all to do with Olivia. She’s so hot right now,” says Prof Martin.

“Did you see her on the Graham Norton Show this week? So elegant, so talented. It’s a wonder we somehow got her at the ARIAs last year.”

It’s a truly heart warming story for the many Deans scattered across Australia, who for years have been associated with the type of name you’d expect of a guy who’s a half-decent plumber, or maybe a bloke who checks bags outside Bunnings stores.

And in speaking with one local Dean, 48 year old epoxy flooring specialist Dean Graham, local Deans are just glad they’re finally getting the sexual recognition they deserve.

“I always thought it wasn’t a half bad name. Heaps of handy footy players are called Dean. There’s Dean Widders, Dean Young, hell even the Wallaby, Dean Mumm.”

“Just cos I’m not a Brad or a Chris doesn’t mean I’m not an animal in the bedroom. It’s about time you gave all us Deans a chance.”

“And yes, I’ve also been blasting that Olivia Dean sheila on the job site. How could anyone not love her?”

More to come.