Flight Passenger Pastes On Polite Smile To Signal She’s Awake And Ready For Biscuit

JONTY SPEEDMAN | Culture | CONTACT

A passenger has taken no chances today during the flight attendants’ end-of-trip dessert rounds.

Upon seeing the trolley making its way towards the back of the plane, Jessica Simpson reportedly pasted on a polite smile in an attempt to communicate with flight attendants that she is in fact awake, and more importantly, ready for her complimentary chocolate biscuit.

Witnesses have confirmed her posture was also rectified to perfectly upright after remaining slumped in a position only described as “unnatural” for the entirety of the flight.

The 27-year-old claims she has made the mistake of shutting her eyes for an extra few minutes and missed the window altogether.

“I won’t be making that mistake again," she told our reporter in between crumbly bites.

“I’ve been awake for the past 20 minutes just to ensure I get my biccy.”

Surrounding passengers have also remarked that Simpson’s smile grew wider as the trolley made its way further down the plane, with flashes of eye contact allegedly starting from 6 rows away.

“I’ve found about 6 rows is the appropriate time to start getting prepared," she continued.

“Any shorter and you’re rushing them, but any longer and you’re a chance of getting skipped out of pure creep factor.”

Flight attendant Lisa believes she has seen cases like this before.

“I don’t know why everyone feels the need to look happy and bright when we’re handing out the biscuits," she said.

“I can guarantee that if you’re at least semi-conscious, you will get one.”