Federal Corruption Watchdog To Grill The Easter Bunny Over Disgraceful Findings

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Australia’s most adored fluffy little rabbit is expected to get skinned this week, after being summoned to front Australia's Federal Corruption Watchdog to explain the eye-watering cost of Easter Eggs.

After consecutive years of nibbling at the wallets of hard working Australians, it’s believed this year's unquestionable price hikes have forced the Federal ICAC to call upon Mr Easter E. Bunny to appear before The National Anti-Corruption Commission.

The comes as Australians continue to rage on social media, after spotting medium sized eggs and bunnies going for as much as $15.

And with tiny gold Lindt bunnies getting charged at $7 a mouthful, ICAC believes Aussies want justice.

Speaking to the defendant, Mr Easter E. Bunny has told The Advocate that this year's pricing travesty is only partly his responsibility.

“Mate, I’m just your average contractor who gets brought in this time of year for the extra work. I just melt and mould the chocolate, it’s the supermarkets who are putting the rocket up my arse to charge this much.”

“You ever dealt with those cunts at the Woolworths group? It doesn’t matter if you’re a dairy farmer or a capsicum grower, they’ll bend you over a plastic chair in those supplier meetings - and then it’s all your fault.”

“You want to talk about corruption, go speak to Santa! No one seems to come at him when he charges $8 for a carton of pudding flavoured custard come December”.

"Not to mention those poor fucken indentured servants he's got working for slave wages in the North Pole"

This is a developing inquiry. More to come.