Father Of Indoor iPad Kids Literally Begging For Eldest Son To Get Caught With A Sparkler Bomb

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT

A local father has reached the point where he would genuinely be happy if he caught his kid with a half constructed sparkler bomb under his bed rather than on his iPad.

Ryan Davies (42), a father of two boys aged 8 and 13, has accepted the fact that children these days just aren’t as outdoorsy these days due to a decades long scare-campaign against strangers, non-supervision and other bad influences — but not this bad.

“Christ, I thought I was bad, but If I didn’t take the screens off them they could easily go 18 hours straight scrolling, it’s impressive” Ryan explained while scrolling on his phone.

At this point, Ryan would pretty much turn a blind eye to any activity if it meant his kids touching some grass on their own.

“Go through rocks at cars or smash windows in an abandoned building filled with asbestos, they’re at the perfect age for it” Ryan vented.

“I’d honestly feel relieved if I found a  bottle jammed with 200 sparklers and a dodgy fuse,” Ryan sighed.

Once considered a reckless backyard ritual, the infamous homemade explosive now represents a level of curiosity and initiative Ryan hasn’t seen in years.

Even the tell-tale signs – burnt grass and panicked mates sprinting down the street – would be a welcome shift from the silent glow of an iPad screen.