"Fuck It, Guess We're Voting Teal" Says Liberal Party's Last Remaining Female Voters Under 80
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Finally! The limp-wristed Liberal moderates who lost the election for Peter Dutton have been defeated. Federal
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The federal Liberal Party have elected a new leader this morning, it can be confirmed.
Angus Taylor has become the new jockey of the party after rolling Sussan Ley by 34 votes to 17 in a spill this morning.
The spill follows months of speculation around Ley's leadership, less than a year after she was appointed to the top job.
Ley was made the first female leader of the Federal Liberal party after an election wipe out that saw the Blue Team hammered for lurching to the right in the name of sensationalist headlines and at the expense of any actual policy.
The move was supposed to be a sign that the Liberals were looking to modernise and return to the 'sensible centre' that they've had so much success with.
However, with the disparate factions of the party ripping each apart over the best way to win back the Australian public without actually offering any particular policy in a race to the lowest common denominator with One Nation, the Libs have found themselves once again lurching to the right.
The party is now hoping that Angus Taylor is conservative enough to appease powerbrokers who think the Sky News room is a reflection of everyday Australia.
It has however been confirmed that Angus definitely doesn't have any skeletons in his closest and the 80 million dollar water fiasco he's been associated with won't come up at any point in the near future.
More to come.