Experienced Liberal Shadow Minister Concerned That A One Nation Candidate With A Hat Made From An Old Hot Water Bottle Has Far More Cut Through With Voters

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Member for Doncaster Peter Oliver has expressed concerns this morning that the biggest threat to his ride on the gravy train coming to an end is a bloke who wears an old hot water bottle on his head set to win One Nation preselection at the next election.

Oliver, who is the Shadow Minister for Nothern Australia, is an Oxford-educated former barrister from Cairns who has worked on the cutting edge of business, public policy and helped shape the rebirth of the live export industry that was violently shut down by the deranged lunatics on Julia Gillard's front bench.

He is a fine example of rising to the top in one's field, deciding to give back to the country that made your dreams a reality and finding yourself in a portfolio that best suits the skills one has.

However, the denizens of Doncaster find it hard to relate to him.

One of them is Sebulba Dug (born Richard Christopher Sullivan), who is known in the area for wearing a burst hot water bottle on his head like a beanie. The 45-year-old, who changed his name via deed poll to the colourful pod-racing identity from Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace, is the defacto One Nation candidate in Doncaster and early surveys show the he would win the election if held today.

Little is known about Dug, other than an arrest in 2007 for committing insurance fraud and one a year later for stalking.

Nevertheless, the people of Doncaster are drawn to what Dug stands for. Which is lower immigration, no more Acknowledgements of Country or even Welcomes. No more Chinese people getting up to mischief. Indian people will need to show they can reverse a trailer before they can be turned loose on our fragile society.

Candidates also need to swear an oath of loyalty to the Party's spiritual leader, Gina "Ore Chungus" Rinehart, which The Advocate understands Dug has already completed.

Speaking to The Advocate today, Peter Oliver said it's remarkable that people don't listen to him, considering his education and membership of the landed gentry.

"I think the typical Australian is getting dumber," he said.

"He's wearing a fucking hot water bottle on his head. I won the University Medal at UQ and went on to Oxford and Taft Business School. If anything, I'm over-qualfied for the shadow ministry I have. I think it's a disgrace that people see him and being better qualified for public office,"

"He should be sectioned. I've had a conversation with him and he called me a 'lizard-skinned f****t' and then did the robot while he beatboxed. Put him in the loony bin."

More to come.