Ex-Fat Guy Now A Prolific Adulterer

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

One of the town's most exuberant big boys has transformed into one of the town's most joyful young studs!

This comes after a sudden late-20s glow up sees a third-grade prop now shifting into the backline, as his dashing jawline emerges for the world to see.

If anyone thought it was impossible for Jesse Nugsworth (29) to have any more of a zest for life, than they have been well and truly proven wrong.

Because now he's not only one of the most piss fit blokes in the footy club, capable of the most venomous, front-footed banter - but he's also a full blown pantsman.

Nuggy's weight loss journey has been an inspiration to all the other larger units in Betoota - especially given the fact that he pulled it off well before this Ozempic shit became readily available.

Now the pubs of Betoota don't know what's hit them, as the ex-fat heart-throb's disposable income is redistributed from the usual big boy spending habits (pokies and competitive eating) to his newfound fun-boy expenses.

It's great news for both his single mates, who have an absolute hunk sending them shortballs - and his family - who can breath a sigh of relief that he might've missed out on developing plantar fasciitis, or even more worrying health concerns.

The only people who probably get the raw end of the stick on this positive news story is the poor women that Nuggy keeps claiming to fall in love with, as he moves way too quickly to announce himself off the market - before inevitably cheating on them the first chance he gets.

Some say this comes from the fact that his lifestyle turnaround came immediately after getting the flick from his only long term relationship. Others claim it's more a symptom of having a bit more fire in his loins after a belated sexual awakening.

While friends and family are nervous that Nuggy might have a bit of work to do when it comes to understanding the basic etiquettes of dating, they can at least take solace in the fact that he's not a late bloomer when it comes to other anti-social vices, having already learnt all the painful lessons he needed to learn about gambling and cocaine back when he didn't back himself in for a root.