Entire Town Gasps In Awe As Regional Dad Perfectly Executes A Breath-Taking Can-Opener At Local Pool

Entire Town Gasps In Awe As Regional Dad Perfectly Executes A Breath-Taking Can-Opener At Local Pool

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor CONTACT

Local dad, Beaudley Bunkley (27) has today reclaimed his title as the most talented bloke off the ten-metre.

The Betoota Downs tradesman had previously given away the can-openers, horsies, V-bombs and cannonballs.

But after nearly a decade sitting in the kids pool with his young tackers, Beaudley felt the need to remind everyone that this old dog has still got it.

While the game may have changed a bit since his heyday - for example, this Manu shit from New Zealand - the can-opener is timeless.

And it's an artform that can only be mastered from the top of a twenty metre granite cliff at the old Betoota quarry after a couple hours bush-bashing through private property.

Those days may be behind Beaudley, but that doesn't mean he can sit back and settle for mediocrity.

It was while watching several of the local teenagers commend themselves for lacklustre back flips from the diving board that the young dad felt the urge to come out of retirement.

With the entire town watching, Beaudley told the missus to keep an eye on the kids for a second, and make sure they were watching when he got to the top level of diving platform.

"WATCHING!?" he shouts to his young family, as the pool's lifeguards scowl and demand he climbs back down.

"HERE WE GO"

Everyone is watching. He's built this up. He better nail it. The families below are rushing to clear him some space in the deep end.

"CAN OPENER!!!!!"

In slow motion, Beaudley sprints off the ten metre, springing upward on his last step.

He swivels in the air and tilts backward, while gently pulling his knee to his chest. He keeps his other leg pointed straight like a ballerina, and tilts back up for the descent.

Everyone watches on in awe as Beaudley pierces through the water.

Like an atom bomb test in the deserts of New Mexico, there is a moment of stillness and complete calm, before the explosion.

He goes deep, before swimming up as fast as he can to catch a look at the splace. The crowd is initiatly speechless. A polite applause turns into a stand ovation.

He's shown em all. That's how you do a fucken can-opener. He's being asked to pack up his family and leave the pool immediately.

Great! You’ve successfully signed up.

Welcome back! You've successfully signed in.

You've successfully subscribed to The Betoota Advocate.

Success! Check your email for magic link to sign-in.

Success! Your billing info has been updated.

Your billing was not updated.