Voters Excited To See How Much More Damage Nats Can Cause While Scotty Quarantines For 2 Weeks

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

The Prime Minister has returned from America overnight, after a big week of destroying trade relationships with the European Union in an effort to get photographed alongside Joe Biden and Boris Johnson.

He now has two weeks of quarantine ahead of him in Canberra, a protocol that really makes voters question if his 4-day-trip to meet with Rupert Murdoch for dinner, before finalising a new AUKUS submarine deal that benefits exactly zero Australians, was really worth it.

However, voters can at least look forward to the chaos that his the Federal Government will now descend into over the next fortnight, as the unruly Nationals MPs take their cue to cause as much shit as they can while the PM is out of action.

Last time Scotty took off overseas, to get photographed with the Queen at the G7 summit that he wasn’t even invited to, Barnaby Joyce made his move to roll the Nationals leader Michael McCormack – in turn, driving the Coalition agenda back towards climate denialism.

Scotty From Marketing is now stuck between a rock and a hard place – as he is apparently preparing to move swiftly towards new low emissions technologies and cleaner energy sources ahead of the Glasgow climate summit.

This is a bizarre turn-around from the man that appointed gas and oil executives to lead the charge of Australia’s post-pandemic economic recovery not even 12 months ago.

Political analysts say that the Prime Minister’s position, like all of his politicial ideologies, has simply flown with the wind caused by Boris Johnson’s girlfriend, who is young enough to care about the future of the planet.

Unfortunately for the Liberals, and their inconvenient coalition of rural mining lobbyists in the National Party, the new Net Zero 2050 position is causing great division in the party.

Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce has done his best to not say one thing or the other, simply pointing out that net zero will crush a lot of rural industries – while rogue LNP Senator Matt Canavan, whose own brother owns a coal mine, says listening to the desperate scientists will ‘make Australia weaker’.

All in the meanwhile, Victorian Nats MP Darren Chester has announced he’s ‘taking a break’ from the party because he can’t stand the fucking morons in their ranks not being reprimanded for spruiking medical misinformation about the pandemic.

All of this is happening while Scotty is stuck in quarantine where he is avoiding the media incase they ask questions about Christian Porter’s blind trust.

Get the popcorn ready!