The Morrison Government have finally hinted that the 2022 Federal Election will be held in mid-May.

This comes after months of tumultuous pre-selection dramas throughout NSW, as the different Liberal Party branches across the state work tirelessly to pull together a team of candidates that looks the exact opposite to the Prime Minister and his friends.

Ongoing factional warfare has left the Liberals without candidates right across the country, but it is believed that NSW is at crisis point.

The growing fear within the ranks of the NSW Liberals appears to be that the horribly-polling Morrison has the ability to destroy their party for an entire generation, given the momentum behind the Independent candidates in the inner city – as well as the Labor candidates in the suburbs.

However, Scotty has urged the high court to preserve his power to handpick creepy Hillsong weirdos that do whatever he says as candidates for the federal election.

With just days before the official election campaign begins, the rocky preselection saga has become a blazing binfire, and is heading either to the high court or the NSW court of appeal for an urgent hearing.

Morrison has asked a challenge against the preselection of sitting MPs Alex Hawke, Trent Zimmerman and Sussan Ley to be sent straight to the high court to prevent jilted branch members from appealing a lower court decision closer to the May election.

His captain’s calls have already seen a grenade rolled into the Liberal Party from by scorned conservative Senator Concetta Fierravanti-Wells who, in her farewell speech to the upper house, declared that Scott Morrison is a bully and unfit to be Prime Minister.

To make matters worse, Scotty cannot call an election until his party have selected candidates, or else face the very worst case scenario of heading into an election without anyone placards to put up in five potentially winnable seats.

But the PM says he does have eyes on an election date.

“Once I’ve rigged every pre-selection with my unwaveringly loyal Hillsong foot soldiers from the Young Liberals. Then the campaign will start”

“No more Turnbulls or Abbotts. I want good Christian men in my party”

“Men like Stuart Robert and Alex Hawke. The type of guys that won’t let you down”


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