As the screws tighten around a possible Federal Election in the next four months, the comrades of the light-rail are beginning to grow concerned that their party won’t be able to get it over the line.

While Scotty From Marketing’s incompetencies as a world leader have somehow managed penetrate through Murdoch’s forcefield of the most biased media monopoly in the western world, the Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese appears to have sat on the sidelines and avoided rocking the boat.

It’s a strategy that might pay off yet, as the Labor leader looks to paint himself as a safe pair of hands, and decided against jumping on the Prime Minister’s head over women’s safety, jab roll-outs, aged care disasters, butchered submarine deals, the Hawaiian holiday, the growing Nationals divide, sports rorts, car park rorts, Christian Porter, Andrew Laming, George Christensen, and now that bloke from Victoria who has apparently been stacking branching and blowing tax payer dollars on pork barrelling.

However, Albanese’s plan to just keep handing Morrison enough rope to do what he does best appears to have rubbed the devout post-Kevin Labor blow-ins the wrong way.

“When’s he going to say something!” scowls one multi-millionaire public servant in Camperdown this afternoon.

“He’s so uninspiring!”

Bridgette Whyte-Andrich (57, captions typer for the ABC) says she’s not the only average Aussie who worries that Albo doesn’t have the energy to win government.

“All he’s talking about is yada yada childcare yada yada job security”

“When is he going to talk about the issues that actually affect Australians?”

As Bridgette points out, the current Labor party doesn’t look like the party she started voting for as a point of difference at inner-city dinner parties after she paid off her mortgage the mid-2000s.

In fact, Bridgette says If Albo doesn’t get it together, she’ll start voting for the greens in the Lower House as well as the Upper House.

“Australians have made it clear they don’t want to talk about housing and wage stagnation”

“That’s so boring and and risk-adverse. We want to see him up front and centre on the Sydney Morning Herald talking about the issues we actually vote on!”

“We want bike lanes, we want Tesla chargers, we want more harbour swimming pools!”

“Enough of this tired ‘working Australians’ trope – It’s completely detached from the real world!”


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