English Cricketers Spend Extra Couple Of Days Off Getting Teeth-Whitened, Skin Burnt And Hair Cut

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

The saviours of the game of cricket are today taking some much needed time to rest and recharge.

Instead of heading to a tour game to work on their skills in foreign conditions after a 2 day capitulation in the first Ashes test, the English Cricket team are working on the fundamentals.

Hair, rig, chompers.

With another coat of English lacquer taken off their BazBalls, the moral superheroes of the game of cricket are making sure they are looking good, to feel good.

"Yeah the lads deserve a bit of time to acclimatise to the Aussie conditions in their own way," explained Mindset and Cricketing coach of the English team, Brendon 'Baz' McCullum.

"So we've chartered a flight to Sydney's eastern suburbs, and the boys are getting about their work."

"Fresh new trims with some dapper gent barber who serves them a glass of Scotch with their haircut."

"Then teeth whitening to make those gnashers glow in the dark."

"And then a big session in the blazing Australian sun with an inappropriate amount of sunscreen and a rapidly warming case of Heinekens."

"That's how the boys get their mojo back."

"And we can get back to saving Test Cricket from the evil forces at play."

More to come.