‘Effortless’ Curls Actually Take A Shitload Of Effort

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT

HEAVY IS THE HEAD: In a shocking revelation that has rocked the beauty community, local woman Jessica Mascot, 24, has come to the realisation that achieving the coveted “effortless curls” look actually requires a high level of effort.

Jessica, who spent upwards of 2 hours wrangling her hair this morning, says she was misled by influencers who promised her that all she needed was a quick tousle and a bit of texture spray.

“I was sold a dream,” she admitted, staring at the graveyard of styling tools on her bathroom counter.

“First, I had to blow-dry my hair straight, then curl it with a wand, then brush it out, then re-curl the pieces that went rogue, then scrunch in product, and then somehow, by the time I left the house, it looked like I had done nothing at all.”

Beauty experts confirm that “effortless curls” is one of the biggest scams of modern womanhood, second only to the idea that glowy skin is achievable without spending half your paycheck on serums.

Jessica says she will now return to her usual low-maintenance routine—tying her hair in a bun and calling it a day.

More to come.