Dutton Forced To Lie Down In Dark Room And Listen To Some Enya After Hearing His Political Hero Call Albo A “Great Leader”

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Private citizen Peter Dutton has spent most of the morning lying on the couch in his Chermside office with the curtains drawn after hearing Donald Trump describe Anthony Albanese as “a great leader and a strong man.”

The former Opposition Leader was reportedly watching a replay of the Washington press conference when Trump’s words hit him like a truck.

“He just went quiet,” said one staffer.

“Then he told us he needed to be alone for a while. He needed to float away for a bit.”

Sources close to Dutton said the moment felt like a personal betrayal. For years he has spoken of Trump as a straight-talking hero who would one day recognise him as the Pacific’s natural ally.

Instead, his idol had publicly praised a Labor Prime Minister.

“Pete always thought of himself as the southern hemisphere strong man,” said another insider.

“He’s got the tough-guy thing down, the suspicion of journalists, the fondness for hi-vis photo ops. To see Trump give Albo the nod really broke him.”

Neighbours reported hearing Enya’s Only Time playing softly from Dutton’s office around midday. Aides confirmed the had unplugged his landline and refused all media calls.

“He’ll be fine,” said one colleague.

“He just needs to process it. Once he realises Trump probably called Albo a great leader by accident, he’ll be back at work by Friday.”

More to come.