“Don’t Talk To Me About Oppression!”: Charity Mugger Receives Tongue-Lashing From Wallabies Fan

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

An overly-polite and softly-manner door-knocking charity worker has been yelled off a Betoota Grove property this morning after he attempted to speak to the homeowner about the many oppressed peoples the world.

Rather than receiving a stern but nice ‘no’ from the man, Duncan Pegg got an absolute tongue-lashing.

Duncan, who has been collecting monies for the Exploit The Kindness Foundation for about a month, alleges that he was called ‘a whole manner of horrible names’ by John Foxley, who stayed up late last night to watch the Wallabies go down yet again.

Witness say an irate Foxley was ‘yelling and screaming’ at Pegg, who was bidding a hasty retreat back through the lush front yard.

“Get off my property, you fucking leech!” he yelled, allegedly.

“Go get a real job. Contribute the economy, you soft-eyed dildo! Fuck mate, you’re letting life give you a Turkish drill press! Get off my lawn, it’s Sir Walter!”

“Don’t talk to me about oppression! I’m a fucking Wallabies fan!”

The Advocate has reached out to Mr Foxley for comment but he has yet to reply as his lawyer’s office isn’t open until Monday.

The jacks at Betoota Grove Police Station were notified of the disturbance but ultimately decided ‘it wasn’t worth getting off the couch for’.

More to come.