"Do I Love Australia? Fucken Oath, But I WILL NOT Be Ironing The Creases Out Of My Bangladeshi-Made Australian Flag Cape"

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local gentleman has today shared that while his love for this country runs deeper than the Marianas Trench, his respect for our flag stops abruptly at the point where an iron, or any thing of that ilk, would be required.

Speaking to The Advocate from the shade of the Betoota Heights Stockland shopping centre, the man, holding in a package creased Australian flag cape that looked more like a tartan rug, said he was more than happy to wear the flag on Australia Day and planned to do so.

"Do I love Australia? Yeah mate. Fucken oath," he said,

"But am I ironing this thing? No chance. It came out of the packet like this and that’s how it’s staying. Who gives a fuck, it still looks the same? Only lefties own irons, anyway."

Each year on the 26th of January, thousands of these flags emerge fresh from their plastic sleeves, still bearing the hard geometric fold lines of mass foreign production. Once the sun sets, they're put back in the bag and slipped into the nearest bin, or abandoned in a pub or bus.

And that's the issue, say concerned onlookers.

It's one thing to raise the flag respectfully. Out the front of your house, in a window or hanging quietly in the shed next to the whipper snipper. That's fine. That's good. That's normal behaviour.

It’s another thing entirely to buy a $6 polyester flag made in Bangladesh, wear it once as a cape, spill beer on it, then get rid of it one way or another.

"If you're gonna buy a flag, at least give a shit," said one passer-by.

"Get a proper one. A good one. Maybe even locally made. And don't treat it like disposable dress-ups. My flag is not your costume. If you're going to wear it as a piece of clothing then please make it look good. More like Dai Le's dress, less like an emergency blanket after a natural disaster. And over a hundred thousand Australians have died fighting with that flag on their chest. Have a bit of respect for it."

Back at the interview, the man conceded he'd didn't know what he planned to do with it on the 27th

"Maybe hang it up, I guess?"

More to come.