Dees’ Fan’s Cheese Platter Adds Sense Of Dignity To Team’s Horrible Season

JASON BARRY | Victorian Leg Tennis | Contact

TRES BON LE FOOTBALL: Dees’ fan, Rupunzel Wellington-Smith the Third (27), has told our reporter that nothing beats the warm gooey centre of a scented blue cheese when it’s paired with a smooth glass of cabernet sauvignon.

“Except,” he noted, twilling the glass of red above his scarf with his thumb and pinkie finger, “when these two things are paired alongside a glorious game of Melbourne Demons football.”

Seated from behind the glass of his private family AFL box, Rupunzel did not seem bothered by his side’s horrible season.

Culminating in the sacking of their premiership winning coach, and a low level ladder finish, it’s certainly been a rough year for his beloved Melbourne Demons.

Yet the trust-fund entrepreneur appeared at ease with the season’s events.

“How can one possibly be mad when one has a belly full of camembert and vino tinto?” he boomed, the delicate skin across the back of his well-manicured hands glistening under the lights as he reached for another portion of apricot quince paste.

“Our boys did their darndest, I’m sure,” he said, which for a moment made our reporter think that Melbourne may just have the nicest, most understanding supporter base of all clubs across the competition.

“Well, I’m certainly not about to go and graffiti the Demons’ HQ now am I?” he said in what appeared to be an underhanded dig at Blues supporters.

“I’m not a heathen.”