Cost Of Living Crisis Forces Supermarkets To Padlock Dumpster To Maintain Food Waste Culture

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

In response to what the Australian media are calling the cost of living crisis, supermarkets have stepped up and begun padlocking their dumpsters to stop would-be scavengers and maintain food waste culture.

With the Australian Bureau of Statistics reporting average prices on regularly purchased items have increased by 6.1%, the highest in 21 years, many Australians have resorted to dumpster diving to procure items such as bread and produce.

Dumpster diving is the act of foraging through a supermarket bin to search for items that might still be good to eat that evening, or tomorrow if you’re a uni student with fuck all standards.

Although technically outlawed, dumpster diving is treated much the same way as cannabis use and illegally crossing a road are; as long as there are no coppers around, who really gives a shit?

However, supermarkets have reminded consumers that despite the cost of living crisis there is still a profit to be had and have begun padlocking their dumpsters to protect their rubbish like they are a fuzzy green grouch on Sesame Street.

“Whether it’s at Movie World, on public transport, or in one of our supermarkets one thing remains consistent; there are no free rides in this world,” stated Supermarket Managers rep Brian Billian.

“We don’t want to have to padlock our dumpsters but if people are going to forage through rotten veg, spoiled mince, and my personally phlegm crusted tissues just so they can feed their kids at a discounted rate, rather than buying in store, than we have to lock our bins.”

“How do you think I feel? I’m the one who has to pay the workers for the time they spend affixing a lock to our dumpsters.”