Cost Cutting: Report Finds Chicken Salt Now 70% Pigeon

TRACEY BENDINGER

Society

In news that will shock chip lovers around the world, a report has today revealed that the beloved chicken salt we sacrificed our health for is the latest X to suffer at the far reaching tentacles of inflation.

Findings in the report stated that the rising costs of chicken carcass, the main ingredient in chicken salt, has forced manufacturers to look for alternative and more affordable avian substitutes.

According to the report, the majority of chicken salt supplied to a number of popular takeaway restaurants is in fact 70% pigeon. In some cases the chicken salt contains traces of crow, but it’s believed pigeon is the preference because of its easily capturable nature.

When asking the public what they thought of the results, the sentiment was mixed.

“My great granny lived of sawdust loaves in the war so I guess pigeon isn’t so bad”

“Pigeon? On this chip right now? [spew]”

“Are they city pigeons or country pigeons?”

The source of the pigeon is unknown at this stage, The Advocate has reached out to a number of chicken salt manufacturers for comment but are yet to hear back.

More to come.