Corbyn Confirms First People Hanged After Election Will Be The Convertible Land Rover Owners

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Owners of the revoltingly impractical and expensive convertible Land Rover have been put on notice by UK Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn this morning, saying he will have them hanged immediately after an election win.

The announcement is aimed at winning the radical-left vote – something expected to be key in this election.

Mr Corbyn spoke to the media this morning in London where his announcement was met with both gasps and cheers.

“They will be dragged out of bed in the hours after Boris’ concession speech and strung up from the closest lamp post!” he said.

“Without a trial!”

“Once we’re done with them and their organs have been redistributed into people who will put them to better use, we’ll start on the people on the tube who have Bang & Olufsen headphones! They are unnecessary and stupid!”

The press conference is ongoing.

More to come.