Conservative Mate Can’t Explain Why He’s So Up To Date On A Gay Bar Controversy In Massachusetts

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

"Oi, ah, are you blokes around this gay bar stuff going on in America?" he asked.

Some had heard, some had seen a few things. None were around it.

"It's the most fucked up shit, you wouldn't believe half of it."

Mark Keith is a bit of a human jukebox among his mates. Of which some subscribe to a certain lifestyle that he does, some are more union-adjacent in their thinking. A few others think they're all bad and donkey vote. Their politics aside, they're still mates at the end of the day, because at the end of the day, they all agree with the bloke who reckons they're all evil and we're forced to keep paying for this soap opera whether we want to or not.

Which is why the let Mark go. They're all on their fourth beer of the afternoon and feeling comfortable in the gaming section of the Gelded Seahorse down the French Quarter. Mark was going to spin the yarn.

"Yeah right so they've got this fucken gay bar in this small town called Greenfield in Massachusetts right? Up near New York way, anyway. It opened in last year as a spot for the [homophobic slur redacted by subeditor] to go power drink, with fucking compulsory masks. How you're meant to drink with a mask on has got me fucked. Anyway, the money dried up, believe it or not, letting lefties run a till is asking for trouble, and the owner reckoned she needed Saturday nights to be mask optional to keep the lights on. Because you know not everyone of those braindead lefties is fucked in the head, well they are all fucked in the head but to varying degrees. But the other nights still needed masks, well, that kicked off a proper leftie meltdown. Bigger than anything you seen on the TV happen in Melbourne or Sydney even. Some locals kicked up a stink, others got online and sent the bots after them and one of them even mentioned firebombing, burning down your own pub, stupid leftie business that is. Then they held an accountability meeting, whatever the fuck that is, which went about as smoothly as jamming a fork in a powerpoint. The owner spoke about debt and living in her car, and all that leftie sook shit like get a real job cunt but that didn’t settle things. Then the [Boston] Globe or New York Times ran a yarn, and suddenly the whole world chimed in. People donating from all over the world, only way lefties can do anything really, with some other cunt's money, but so did MAGA cunts and threats against some sucked mango seed looking leftoid, who the bar defended. And I’d stress, that sucked mango seed looking cunt hadn’t made the firebombing comment, but still copped it. They fucken turn on themselves don't they, the cunce. Now Hollywood’s sniffing around, apparently. Anyway, that's about it."

The others nodded, one asked how he knew all this stuff. Mark shrugged.

"Saw it on the news, mate. [Andrew] Bolty filled me in."

More to come.